While it would be nice to think that everyone we meet and like will become another "best friend", that isn't usually the case.  Each friend we make plays a different role in our lives.  Some friends are just acquaintances:  they are people we know and our interaction with them is on a very basic level.  On the other end of the spectrum are our closest friends, whom we share our deepest secrets with, who know everything there is to know about us, and still love us!  And in between is a whole array of friendships:  all of which are important, and all of which serve different purposes in our lives.

Regardless of what degree of friendships you currently have, the truth must be told:  you are worthy of other people's investment and time!  You are not a bother to others, and you are worth it!  It is important to have those friends in your life who are committed to you.

What does a "true" friend look like? 

A true friend is someone who:

• Stands with you through the good times and bad times
  As much as we would like to think that life is always going to be wonderful and fun, reality reminds us that we will face hard times.  What will make the biggest difference during those times will be who is standing with you in the middle of them.  You need to have friends who will be there for you when things are great: to laugh with, and share fun times with.  But you also need friends who will be there when things are tough, to lend you a shoulder to cry on, and to help you back up when you make mistakes.
  
• Encourages you
  Sometimes we need a push in the right direction, or a reminder that we're headed that way.  We need people in our lives who recognize our potential and our strengths, as well as the distance we've already come to get to where we are today.  Not only will they recognize it, but they will also remind us of it, and encourage us to keep running this race of life.  And in this race, they are our biggest fans, cheering us on and handing us water when we need it!
  
• Isn't afraid to tell you the truth in love.
  Sometimes we need to hear something about ourselves our about our situation that we just don't want to hear.  A real friend will tell you the truth, not because they want to hurt you or to say "I told you so", but because you need to hear it:  the direction you're heading or the way you're thinking is hurting you more than helping you.  They tell you because they love you and want to see the best for you.  It is not because they want to prove a point or make you feel dumb. 
  
• Doesn't make you feel inferior
  A real friend does not make you feel like you are less than them, or that you have to work to deserve their friendship.  They love you for who you are.  A friend doesn't look for opportunities to make you feel stupid or point out your flaws.
  
• Doesn't hold you back from your potential
  A friend will not stand in the way of what you are doing (unless its harmful to you!).  They will not look for ways to just benefit themselves from your relationship, but instead look for ways to help you.
  
• Is committed to your success
  A friend will stand by you 110%.  They believe in you, and will do whatever they can to push you to reach your full potential.  They will stand by you when you make mistakes, and celebrate with you when you succeed.

How can I be a good friend?

Sometimes it is so incredibly easy to pinpoint what we want to have in a friend.  But it's also just as easy to forget that in order to have good friends you need to be a good friend.  It's a two-way street!  Friends are not people who are just going to benefit you in your life and endeavours.  You need to be willing to invest in another person, even when you know you won't always get something back right away.  This may be something that is hard to understand, especially since we are always being told to do what feels good and to look for ways to benefit ourselves.  However, friendship shouldn't be based on making ourselves feel good.

Have you ever heard of the principle of sowing and reaping?  It says that what you sow is what you will reap.  In other words, what you plant is what you will harvest.  That means if you plant an apple tree, you're not going to get oranges.  No matter how much you wish and hope for oranges, you won't see one single piece of citrus fruit on that tree.  It will be all apples.  In the same way, if you are back-stabbing and gossiping, you will not end up with great friends who stand by you, and so on.

How can you be a good friend?  You can start by doing the things listed above that resemble what a true friend looks like.  And remember:  you will reap what you sow... you may not see the harvest right away, but it will come!

Think about this...

No man is an island, entire of itself . . .
-John Donne

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is a reaction, both of them are transformed.
-Carl Jung

When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends.
-Japanese proverb